The Working Relationship Between Work and You.
Your relationship with work is the same relationship you have with a significant other, a friend, or your internet provider. Are you getting more value from the relationship than you are pain?
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79%. That is how much I increased my salary in less than 1 year.
How did I do it?
I provided value within my company by delivering (with my team) a product that increased annual revenue by $6 million.
I developed meaningful relationships with key stakeholders across multiple organizations divided by corporate structure and immense corporate politics to gain alignment on product vision, allowing us to begin development on the product’s first major iteration in over a year.
I met my quota for Objectives and Key Results (OKRs) for 5 straight quarters, with each one aligning up to a specific company goal and KPI. (For those unfamiliar with OKRs, here is a good resource).
I changed jobs…TWICE.
If you couldn’t tell from my ‘not so subtle’ attempt from above, despite the qualitative and quantitative value that I provided to multiple companies, the only way I increased my salary beyond a mere 3% was switching companies. I was not being valued by my employers, and the increase in salary supports this. However, salary was only one factor in my decision to leave. Actually, it was a very SMALL factor in both cases. I don’t think I would have left for the salary alone. I actually had much bigger reasons for leaving both companies, and the reasons for leaving were different for each one.
Fear of Leaving an Employer
Early in my career, I had a hard time leaving employers. I felt that if I didn’t commit the rest of my career to working for them, then I at least owed them several months of notice before leaving. However, at least in the United States, several months notice is not practical in many cases. Committing an entire career to a single employer is also not practical for many people.
With much fear and trepidation, mouth dry and words fumbling, I would give my boss a verbal two-weeks notice. Because I was a high-performing individual, it was usually not the kind of news my boss wanted to hear. Often they would unintentionally (or intentionally) say things to make me feel guilty for leaving them. This would cause me to reconsider my decision and doubt myself.
In one instance, I even asked my employer to ‘forget’ that I had given any notice at all. Instead, I asked that they give me the weekend to think on it further. I felt extremely loyal to this company, and I felt that I was ‘ruining everything’ because I decided to leave. However, I came back Monday recommitted to leaving the company.
The truth is that something (or multiple things) had driven me to look externally for new employment. I reminded myself that I needed to do what was best for me and my family. I could be replaced within the company I was leaving. My absence was not going to run the company into the ground.
I have come to learn that this psychology is common in many people. We give so much of our time, attention, and care to our jobs, that it can be mentally and emotionally taxing when we leave. This causes too many people to stay with their current employer instead of seeking opportunities that may better their own situation.
Reasons to Stay and Reasons to Leave
The questions behind both decisions are the same.
Am I being fairly compensated for my time and my work?
Do I feel satisfaction in the work that I am doing?
Do I feel appreciated for my time, talents, and contributions?
Do I enjoy (or at least tolerate) the people that I work with?
Are there opportunities for growth and improvement?
Are my other personal needs being met?
If you are answering “Yes” to most of the above questions, then you have greater reason to stay, and less reason to leave. If you are answering “No” frequently, then it may be time to start looking for a new job.
Taking Care of Yourself
It is important to remember that your employment is an agreement between you and an employer. They are paying you for your work, so you should give them honest work in return for what they have paid. However, in most cases, you are not bound to stay with that company. You are free to end the relationship at any time. They do not own you. You do not owe them your eternal loyalty, nor do they owe that to you. Either party is free to discontinue the arrangement.
Humans are prone to emotion. We often times allow emotion to get in the way of our decision to leave an employer. Unchecked emotions, from either party, can cause great harm to any future relationships. Keep your emotions in check. Use logic and reasoning when making a decision to leave.
Am I being fairly compensated? 'No. I have 5 years experience working in this role. I live in an area with a high cost of living. I am making 30% less than my peers are who have the same role, with the same years of experience, within the same geographical area.’
The logical answer to this single question: Ask for a raise, or look for a new job.
Do I enjoy (or at least tolerate) the people I work with? ‘Yes. I have great friends here. I enjoy coming to work and spending time with them. They make the work go faster and smoother.’
The logical answer to this single question: Stay put. No need to look for a job.
However, you can enjoy the people you work with while simultaneously being underpaid. Making a decision to leave a company - or stay with a company - should not be made based off of the answer to a single question - you may make the wrong decision. Instead, you may want to consider all of the questions above. Then you need to personally weigh what is most important to you, and what you are willing to compromise on. Then make your decision.
Is the value that you are receiving greater than the pains you are feeling?
This is the same balance you need to find with any other important relationship in your life. You have this balanced relationship with a spouse, domestic partner, or significant other. You have this balanced relationship with friends. You have this balanced relationship with your internet provider.
Few and far in between are the number of relationships that match perfectly with your needs without also having irritations or compromises. Don’t expect an employer or a job to be a perfect fit. It likely won’t. You will have annoyances. You will have frustrations. But you will also have joys - hopefully enough joy to exceed the pain you feel.
When you feel the time is right to move on to a new company, do it. Don’t feel guilty. Don’t put the company before your own needs. You are replaceable. They will be fine without you. You need to look out for yourself and your family. But please also don’t intentionally burn bridges on the way out the door. You may need to cross that bridge again at a later time. Also, be willing to compromise and be reasonable with your future expectations. Lack of compromise and lack of reason will bring dissatisfaction to a job quicker than most anything else. You may find yourself eternally stuck in the search for greener pastures.
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