Boomer Body Shames Millennial. You Won't Believe What Happened Next.
Even crappy people give good advice. You may not want to quickly reject every hurtful word that is said to you.
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A Boomer body shamed me at a men’s clothing store. It was an unsolicited comment. This was immediately after he had the nerve to tell me I was ‘unhelpful’ when I couldn’t answer his questions. I was a customer like him. My reaction was a little extreme.
Before we get there, I’d better give you some context.
I had a gift card to Macy’s department store. I had always wanted a nice sports coat. I worked in Financial Services, so dressing up was expected. I walked into the store and started browsing coats. As I was checking out a coat, an older couple approached me. The conversation went like this:
“Hello. We are trying to by a suit jacket for our grandson. He seems to be about your size. Would you mind helping us figure out what size we should purchase for him, since he isn’t here?”
“Sure”, I said.
They continued. “What size jacket do you wear?”
“I don’t know. I just got here and I have not yet tried anything on”, I replied.
“What measurement is your chest and shoulders?”, they asked.
“I am not sure. I was just going to try on a coat and get it tailored to me”.
“You’re very unhelpful”, said the husband. “Here! Try this on. Let’s see how it fits.”
Shocked at his forwardness, I grabbed the jacket and put it on.
“Wow! That’s a little tight on you don’t you think? You could probably lose a few pounds.”
At this point, his wife called him out, thanked me for my help, and excused the two of them from my presence.
I lost my appetite for shopping. I left the store without purchasing anything. It was the first time in my life I had ever felt badly about my body. Although, I did agree, he wasn’t wrong. My body did have some extra weight that could be shed; I just felt it unnecessary for him to give his input unprompted, all while I was trying to help him out.
When I got home, I changed into my running clothes. It was the middle of the afternoon on a mid-summer day in Salt Lake City, so it was definitely in the mid- to high 90’s outside. That didn’t stop me. I went for a 3-mile run. Drenched in sweat that only a dry heat from the mid-summer desert sun can give to you, I resolved to give the figurative ‘middle finger' to that man. He would never know it, but I would.
I spent the next few weeks focusing on my health. I was able to shave off the ‘few pounds’ he had commented to me about.
Even Crappy People Can Give Good Advice
I don’t know anything about the man that I interacted with, other than the 2 minutes we chatted. Perhaps he is a wonderful person who makes awkward comments when he’s upset. Or perhaps he is really just a terrible person. I will never know.
What I do know is that even though I perceived him to be a terrible person, and his comments were hurtful and uncalled for, I did recognize the truth in them. There was a part of me that wanted to go home, grab a bowl of cereal, pull up on the couch, and prove him right. But I couldn’t get out of my head how much the truth of his words stung. So instead of a pity party, I took action in spite of him. I became better for it because of my actions and my choice.
At work, you’re going to have terrible managers, colleagues, executives, stakeholders, or customers from time to time. You are going to hear terrible comments directed at you. They are going to sting, and they are going to be unnecessary most of the time. But if there is any ounce of truth in these horrible comments, please don’t dismiss entirely their words. It will be hard. You will probably be cursing that person out the entire time; maybe even yourself for listening to them. But if you stick with the advice given you, and implement changes, you can see some really positive growth in yourself that you may not have experienced otherwise.
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