Want to Build Confidence? Then Dress for Success.
The clothing we wear has the power to boost or weaken our self-confidence. It also sends subconscious messages to those around us. What messages are you sending?
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Joe was accustomed to wearing over-sized shirts and baggy pants. It felt most comfortable to him. It was all he really knew.
However, Joe had recently lost some weight, and although he could physically wear clothes that came in a smaller size, everything made him feel self-conscious about himself; like the clothes were too revealing and suffocating. So he stuck to baggy clothing.
Then Joe met Amanda Castro, a nearly 10-year Professional Clothier from Tom James Company. She helped him understand that proper fit, not too tight nor too loose, was the key to a great outfit. Trusting her, he ordered a custom fitted sport coat.
It was a game-changer.
He wore that sport coat on a trip. Before he even left the hotel lobby, he received three different compliments on how nice his jacket looked. What a confidence booster!
Confidence: This is the power that clothing possesses when worn properly.
Building Confidence Through Clothing
The clothes that you wear have a psychological impact to both you, as the wearer, and those around you, as the observers. What you wear can speak just as loudly, or louder, than what you say. It contributes to the first impression that others make of you.
Are you professional?
Do you have self-respect?
Are you an overly casual individual?
These are a few of the messages that you subconsciously send to others.
Heading into my meeting with Amanda, I had some preconceived beliefs about what made for a professional outfit, versus a casual one. Cost and style were top of my list.
I have since learned that, even though these two qualities can play a role in your appearance, they are not the most important.
Keys to a Proper Outfit
1. Fit
Wearing clothes that fit your body is the best way to boost your appearance. Clothes that are too baggy may appear unprofessional and sloppy; where as clothes that are too tight may be distracting or highlight areas of your body in an unflattering manner. To be clear, ‘fit’ does not mean you have to have a specific waist size or build. Fit simply means that you have clothes that are tailored to match your body style, whatever style that may be.
Thick or thin, built or lean, tall or short - everyone is capable of wearing clothes with proper fit. Body type is irrelevant.
2. Authenticity
We spend all day in clothing; we need to feel psychologically comfortable in what we are wearing. If we don’t choose the right clothing for our day, it could make us feel self-conscious.
This tip resonated with me.
My wife loves to buy my clothes for me. Often times, I like what she buys; but there is one style that I have never adopted. When she purchases this style of clothing for me, the ‘vibe’ does not feel authentic to me or my personality. Despite my wife’s comments about how good I look in the clothes, I can’t stop thinking about how inauthentic I feel in them. I don’t like the feeling they give me. I always feel self-conscious and lack confidence, so I refuse to wear them.
You need to feel authentic in your clothes.
3. Intentionality
Be intentional about what you wear. Think through your day:
Who are you scheduled to meet with, and what are the meetings’ purposes?
How comfortable is your relationship with the people you will see the next day?
What activities will you be completing throughout the day?
Are you running errands where you’ll mostly be in your car, or are you attending the opening night of a Broadway Musical?
People can often tell when you have given thought about your appearance. Intentionality can send a signal that you pay attention to detail and you take pride in your work.
Intentionality does not mean you have to always wear business professional.
It simply means you have considered the events of the day, and you have decidedly picked an outfit that is suitable for those events. Regardless, there is no harm at aiming to be the best dressed in the room. In most cases it is better to be overdressed than it is to be underdressed. You can always dress down if the disparity between you and the others around you is too great. Simply pull off the suit coat, or remove the tie. This is a simple change that is within your control, and it is a much easier alternative than trying to make a strong second ‘first impression’.
Let’s give some examples of intentionality, and how a well thought-out outfit can change the dynamic of your meeting:
You are meeting a long-time client at a baseball game.
You have a long-standing relationship with this client. There is very low risk that his or her perception of you will change based on your outfit. Furthermore, when you consider the environment where you are meeting - a baseball stadium - you will realize that you have an opportunity to dress down if you choose.
In a scenario like this, a nice buttoned up shirt and fitted blue jeans would be acceptable. If you want to throw on a matching blazer for some extra swagger, or to show off your personality, that would also be appropriate. In either scenario, you maintain a level of professionalism while still adjusting your dress to match the relationship and environment in which you are meeting.
You work in a profession, such as tech, where casual dress is more accepted.
This scenario could go either way. At some companies, you may be able to pull off a suit, if you prefer, without any issues. In fact, it may give some subconscious bias that you are a professional and worthy of attention.
However, there are also some tech companies where the culture is so casual, that being overdressed may cause others to feel uncomfortable. They may look at you as one in authority, which may be counter to the vibe of that company.
You will want to understand the culture of the company first before you try any outfits that help you stand out too much. In such a company, fitted pants and a buttoned up shirt are always appropriate. You may even sub out the pants for fitted jeans, or throw on a sport coat. These are a few options that will help you fit in, while maintaining a professional look.
You are meeting with the CEO of a possible future customer.
When you are meeting with high-value customers, you want to ensure that your apparel sends the right message - which is that you are here to do business. In such an instance, a navy colored suit is your best choice. Navy is the color to wear when you need to look your sharpest. The dress shirt and tie are second and third in level of importance, respectively. You have some flexibility with these two items, so long as you have selected matching colors and patterns that won’t distract.
Wardrobe Must-Haves
If you only have one professional suit, it needs to be navy blue. This is the suit you will wear to all of your high-profile meetings. There are times when you want your outfit to “pop”, or you want to stand out; but it is not the proper time to have your clothes distract from your message when you are trying to win a new customer, update the board of directors on the affairs of the company, or when interviewing for a job. Remain conservative and professional. Navy is your best choice.
100% wool is typically the preferred material, but the material is less important than the color.
If you have a second professional suit, then it needs to be gray. This color is very appropriate to wear to most business meetings, and will allow you to switch out your navy suit, so that it does not wear out as quickly.
As you build out your wardrobe, you can start to expand the color palette, style of clothing, and variety of materials. A black suit is great for certain events, such as galas or funerals. Tan suits are associated with wealth, and are great for rides on a yacht, a summer outdoor banquet, or a summer wedding. Navy and black blazers for men, and navy, black, and earth-tone blazers for women are great for less formal events. Having multiple suits, shirts, blazers, sport coats, and ties will allow you to change up your outfit regularly.
You may be thinking that this all sounds expensive, and it certainly can be if you choose. But the amount of money you spend on a product, or the brand name, is far less important than the color and style of the clothing. A $100 navy suit from JCPenney is more valuable when interviewing for a new job than slacks and a plaid sport coat from a high end name brand that cost $1,000.
As you start building your wardrobe, you may start with less-expensive brands and items, increasing the affordability. If you choose this route, simply ensure that your clothes maintain a proper fit, feel authentic to you, and that you are intentional about your choices. If you keep these three qualities in mind, you can build a professional wardrobe on any budget.
You should never put yourself into a poor financial position simply to impress others with your clothing.
Keep your purchase cadence and purchase price in a range that are aligned with your income and budget. In time, you have the freedom to upgrade your wardrobe with higher end materials as your budget allows.
I am a customer of Tom James Company, and have purchased multiple items from them. I, however, was not paid nor incentivized in any way to write about or promote their product. As a long-time customer, I just think that they offer a high-quality product, and they are extremely knowledgeable at what they do. Amanda Castro is no exception. She and I met in 2017, and she has been nothing but exceptional at what she does. If you have any further questions or interest in Tom James Company clothing, reach out to Amanda. She can get you started.
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I spent so much of my life acting as if this didn't matter, particularly re: the internal effects. But of course, it's difficult to bypass the feeling of feeling good, authentic in your clothes.
Underrated topic, thanks for writing Jeff!